“Mom of three living in BFE” meets an unexpected, unwanted guest

“Hissssss hisssss Missster Ssssnake. Sssssliding, ssssslithering through the grassssss …”

That is a line out of some children’s book with a pop-up snake that I have read to my children over the years.

I admit, I thought it was cute, until it happened in real life.

Yes, for the first time in nearly six years, a snake and I crossed paths.

Since the wind was blowing so hard today – like “Wizard of Oz” crazy wind – I decided to put a few items away before the wind tossed them into the next yard. We have a set of three chairs sitting on our little porch connected to our shed. I have been in and out of that shed dozens of times. Except for the big-ass bees that burrow inside the ceiling, I have never had a big problem with the shed … until today.

There I was, stacking two chairs when out of the corner of my eye, I saw something slither and stick its tongue out at me.

Out of pure shock, I just stood there. Watching it as it contemplated its next move, and I mine.

I opened the shed at super speed and threw the chairs inside. I peeked around the door. It was moving in my direction.

“Should I get the third chair or not?” I asked myself.

Then it moved again.

“Hell no. Hell no,” I said as I looked at the chair.

I locked the shed – again at super speed – and ran like hell back inside my house.

I HAD to get this on camera!

I ran back out and phew, it was still there where I had left it!

I took the photo and ran – like hell back inside my house. I quickly sent the photo to my family.

This is what my dad wanted to know about my experience:

Where was it from? – Um, dad, don’t know. I didn’t ask where it had been traveling.

Where did it go? – Again, um, don’t know. We didn’t really chat very much. He looked like he was looking for something to eat and I didn’t want to be its next meal.

Was it a “mama” snake? She might be pregnant. Go look in holes. – SURE, I would gladly ask if it was pregnant, when its due date is and how many “children” she expects to have and then I would LOVE to run around the backyard looking in holes for her off-spring in the upcoming weeks!

My own father should know better than to ask me such stupid questions seeing as how I am not a fan of snakes.

But seeing as how he is coming here this weekend to plant trees on our property I guess he has the right to be concerned about the snake, who I have now named “Oscar.” I told him I would ask it all of his questions the next time I see it slithering about our yard and then maybe they can exchange pleasantries as he plants the trees – which I am almost certain the snake will love to curl up and cuddle under soon!

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