Home vs. Work place lingo (Can this mom separate the two?)

Starting tomorrow, I will be heading back into the working world.
This isn’t the first time I am going “back to work” as after my first son was born, I found myself working as a cashier at Giant Eagle.
And, I did substitute teach for about four months during the 2005/2006 academic year (You can all thank God I am not going THAT gig again because your children may be scarred for life. It was a painful experience.).
And, yes, I did work for about three weeks in the newsroom during 2006, but back then Ethan wasn’t a fan of his daycare provider. In his defense, she was a bit of a nut job and I have the notes to prove it. She also stalked me at the newspaper by calling me all the time wanting to “chat with me about my son and his behavior.” Again, she was a bit on the nutty side.
So, anyways, for the past 10 years, my main focus has been making sure our children are clean, fed and taken care of – it’s a miracle every night that the house is still standing.
Every day, I repeat the same words over and over to the kids at various times.
Here’s a few I hope to not repeat tomorrow night:

“Go slow and pay attention!!!” – when walking down the stairs or running full speed down the hallway.

“Don’t kill each other!!” – when I am unavailable for the time it takes to shower or make dinner and they are left “on their own.”

“Too bad for you!” – when they don’t get their way.

“SHHHHHHH…I am on the PHONE!” – if you ever need to get your children’s attention, I highly suggest holding a phone to your ear – they will flock toward you.

“You are NOT the boss!” – I say this at least once an hour.

“What are you guys doing?” – this is said when I walk through the house when it’s too quiet and I know they are doing something naughty.

“LISTEN TO ME!” – again, used hourly.

And my favorite –
“FIND SOMETHING TO DO!!!” – because they generally hang around my legs, looking up at me, pulling on my clothing because they are bored. Mind you, toys are scattered throughout the house.

I can’t wait till Saturday morning, when I am sure I will receive a full report of what went down while I was gone. And, you can bet that it will be told to me by a 4-year-old child as my husband gives me the thumbs up sign, which in our house means, “GOOD TIMES!” – sarcastically of course!

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About Parenthood: The New Crazy Train

Parenthood is no easy task, and there is no reason to go at it alone. So, if you are feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, dump it off, grab a beverage and hop onboard Parenthood: The New Crazy Train -- where we are all permanent riders and new riders are welcomed daily. Follow me on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/ParenthoodthenewCrazyTrain Twitter @train_crazy *Photo credit Kristin Bauer*
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