Don’t cry over hard bread

note on bread

Remember those days, early on in a relationship when maybe you were a wee bit nervous about what to say, fearing you may piss off your possible “special someone.”

Well, after being together for nearly 18 years, and married for almost 13 of those years, my husband and I are past the “first impression niceties.”

We tend to tell it like it is now, at least with each other.

While for some marriages, it may cause a rift, for Seth and me, we just roll with it.

For example, on Friday, I found a note sitting on top of a loaf of bread that I purchased.

Here’s what the note read:

BREAD SUCKS!

HARD AS A ROCK!

DON’T BE CHEAP – JIM!

Throughout the day on Friday, I received many posts regarding the note on my Face Book page; and I kept informing Seth that my “friends” were ripping him a “new one.”

Some people told me to crumble it up and toss it on top of a casserole, while others told me to use it for toasted cheese. Others told me to give him raw dough.

He didn’t care. He kept telling me how gross the bread was and how he could not eat more than one bite, which resulted in him only eating one piece of lunchmeat for lunch and that he would be “STARVING” by dinner time.

I never apologized because he works for a company that has a cafeteria on its campus. He very easily could have walked there and ordered anything off its menu. Instead, he chose to bitch and moan.

And while he whined, I told him how delicious and fresh my salad was that day.

By the time he got home, I was sitting in my car and took off for work.

I did pre-heat the oven though as he was in charge of dinner.

Saturday morning, he went and bought two loaves of NEW bread. The old “nasty” bread was tossed out back for the animals to feast upon. I have no idea if they nibbled on it or not – my ark wasn’t built to travel down the creek leading from the front yard to the “back 40.”

Since Friday morning’s bread drama, he has continued to make sly remarks about my grocery purchases.

Over lunch:

“Don’t buy crappy bologna! Be sure to buy BEEF BOLOGNA!” – isn’t all bologna crappy? Seriously, it’s just lips and asses of pigs.

During dinner:

“Wasn’t this (holding a bottle of soy sauce) on your list A LONG TIME AGO?” – because ya’ know we use soy sauce in this house every day. Also, he had plenty left for his meal tonight.

“Bed time snack”:

“Ya know what I could go for now? A Hostess Cherry Pie! Do they even make those any more since they don’t make Ho-Hos or Twinkies? We should have bought some a long time ago and (I kid you not, he said this …) FROZE THEM!” – Well, I am not a psychic and I had no idea Hostess was gonna go belly up, otherwise, sure I would have “bought some to freeze” because that is on the top of my grocery list!

And the best today:

“Here, did you get the coupons out of the paper? Look at all of those! Maybe you could save us some money instead of spending money!” – Sure, I know coupons save money, but we don’t eat half the items they advertise with coupons, so what’s the point? The last time I “couponed” I found coupons I had been saving for so long they were already expired!

As the day went on and on, I had a brilliant idea!

Seth is always looking for “something to do with the kids” when I am working on a Friday night … anyone want to guess where he can take the kids this week?

Here’s a hint: The Giant Eagle’s “Eagle’s Nest” is open until 7 p.m.

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