Swimsuit season — it’s like setting yourself up for failure

Nearly 13 years ago, I was embarking on my honeymoon to St. Thomas.
I packed a couple sundresses and two bikinis.
The year was 2000.
A bikini has not been near my body in 13 years.
In fact, when I near a bikini on a clothing rack, I cringe. Yet I know when I travel to Myrtle Beach in June I will see many women wearing bikinis who should, well, who should not be wearing bikinis.
But, to each her own.
So, today, I went to Kohls in search of the “perfect mom of three body swimsuit.”
I tried on a two-piece. The top was great. The bottom … well, I looked like a stuffed cabbage. It wasn’t pretty.
Then I said, “Screw it, let’s try on this ‘slimming black one-piece’ by Chaps!”
BINGO!
It fit!
For good measure, I did try on one more — but it looked more like a moo-moo than anything else, so I tossed that one to the side and walked out with the $50 one in my hand.
Yes, I spent $50 on the swimsuit that FIT. Some of the OTHERS were $96 – I got a good deal. Plus, I had 30 percent OFF.
My husband saw the cost and said, “YOU BOUGHT A $50 SWIMSUIT?”
“Yes, yes I did because I have much more to cover up/hide NOW after I had YOUR children, thanks for THAT!” I thought to myself.
But it’s true!
I can no longer buy the swimsuits without breast cups – because well, I need all the help I can get in that department. And, I need the ones that guarantee to “slim” me because I could crunch my abs all day and all night, and I am sorry, those kids killed my ab muscles for life, therefore, I will never have a flat stomach – EVER. And, I need extra lining too because no one needs to see anything they should NOT be seeing. So yes, all of that cost $50 … which to me, was well worth it because I am well worth it too.
Oh, did I mention I also bought two pairs of shoes and four shirts?
Again, because I am worth it … and because everything else was on sale!
Hey, I did buy him a $5 tank top!

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About Parenthood: The New Crazy Train

Parenthood is no easy task, and there is no reason to go at it alone. So, if you are feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, dump it off, grab a beverage and hop onboard Parenthood: The New Crazy Train -- where we are all permanent riders and new riders are welcomed daily. Follow me on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/ParenthoodthenewCrazyTrain Twitter @train_crazy *Photo credit Kristin Bauer*
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