Mom is living in a real episode of “Hoarders: Buried Alive”

I love my kids. I hate their hoarding tendencies.

My oldest has pretty much outgrown the desire to keep every little piece of paper.

One down, two to go.

I will never understand the strong attraction to a single piece of paper with single hole-punch punched out. I will never understand the need to keep torn Pokémon cards. I will never understand coveting half-used, half-broken crayons nestled in the bottom of supply boxes.

I don’t get it.

I just threw away three WallyWorld sized bags full of shit that I – and I am not joking – found under the twins bunk beds. I stupidly told them to clean their room yesterday or they were not allowed to have a snack or watch TV before bed. Well, they fooled me!

But, like the good sleuth I am, I found everything this morning – in uncategorized piles under the bed. I pitched it all. I was almost as fast as a shop-vac with the speed at which I grabbed paper, lost-and-forgotten Lego pieces and mini farm animals (sorry Mr. Pig and Mr. Horse – your new house will be the landfill!).

As I sit here writing this, I propped open a paper bag (the kind I ask for at the local supermarket and get the evil stare since I am asking for … gasp … PAPER) for which I had intended to drag around the house with me, tossing any piece of crap that doesn’t belong here. My daughter grabbed it first (only because I decided to blog instead of purge) and is now putting her doll clothes inside of it.

Lucky for me, I have plenty of paper bags to gather trash. Why PAPER you asked? BECAUSE THEY CANNOT SEE THROUGH IT! IF I USE PLASTIC BAGS, I WILL LOSE THIS PURGE BATTLE AND THEY WILL SCREAM, YELL AND GO INTO A FULL BLOWN TANTRUM!

I will not give up this fight against in-home littering.

I will prevail.

I will win.

Because I refuse to live in an episode of “Hoarders:  Buried Alive” any longer.

 

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About Parenthood: The New Crazy Train

Parenthood is no easy task, and there is no reason to go at it alone. So, if you are feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, dump it off, grab a beverage and hop onboard Parenthood: The New Crazy Train -- where we are all permanent riders and new riders are welcomed daily. Follow me on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/ParenthoodthenewCrazyTrain Twitter @train_crazy *Photo credit Kristin Bauer*
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