Searching for Zen in all the wrong places — truth is, it’s in WINE

I am stupid.

I am stupid because I thought that once my kids were in school all-day/every day that my life would become easier and quieter.

Turns out, I was only kidding myself — and now I am banging my head against the coffee table.

In the summer, they would wake up gradually, whenever they felt good and ready. In a groggy fog, they would slowly make their way into the living room, sit in a comfy chair with a blanket and watch TV.

Life was good. Life was quiet(er).

And then school started with a BANG.

Now it’s fighting about what clothes to wear; what shoes to wear; what to eat for breakfast; when to brush their teeth; do they HAVE TO brush their teeth; and brushing the girl’s hair which generally looks like the world’s biggest rat nest was made overnight.

From 6:30 until 8:15 a.m., it is so loud in our house I can’t even hear myself think – not that there is any time for that anyways.

And then, by 8:16 a.m., the house is silent except for the constant hum of the washing machine, dryer or dish washer.

It’s pure bliss until 3:08 p.m.

When they are at school, they bottle up their “home life” and present themselves as fun-loving, well-behaved, caring children. Which means by the time they hop off that bus into the gravel driveway, they are about to explode like one of those Fourth of July poppers.

POOOOOOFFFFFF … just as the streamers fly from the opening, the screaming and yelling hit an all-time high.

Only now we are screaming about snacks; drinks; homework; dinner; snacks; drinks; homework; “CAN I WATCH TV NOW???;” “I AM STARVING!!!;” “I DON’T WANT TO SET THE TABLE!!;” and “CAN I HAVE A FRIEND OVER FOR DINNER??” (Seriously, Ethan, who do you want to invite over to OUR house to EAT the food that I prepared? Are you vying for most unpopular student at school??)

After dinner, it quiets down about 1 decibel for about 30 minutes. I am thinking it’s because they consumed my awesome food and they are digesting it at a slow speed.

But the quiet doesn’t last long because then we begin the “SHOWER-SNACK-SLEEP” routine and the entire gig lasts 90 minutes from start to finish.

So, now you all know why I am stupid. I am stupid because I thought that once the kids were in school all-day/every day that somehow I would regain a sense of Zen in my life. But, in reality, the only ZEN I tend to have lately comes in a glass of wine.



About Parenthood: The New Crazy Train

Parenthood is no easy task, and there is no reason to go at it alone. So, if you are feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, dump it off, grab a beverage and hop onboard Parenthood: The New Crazy Train -- where we are all permanent riders and new riders are welcomed daily. Follow me on Facebook at: Twitter @train_crazy *Photo credit Kristin Bauer*
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