Washing Machine Woes: Part II

Well, the bitch isn’t fixed.

In case you all missed the previous column, our washing machine (which is known as a SHE to all repairmen – hence the bitch description) took a dump nearly two weeks ago. The washing machine repairman has been here twice. He SAID he fixed it today, but he didn’t. Not really.

There is still a puddle behind the machine.

And, the best part, our machine is one of those fancy ones that runs on sensors.

Today, after the man left, I washed a load since it’s been starting to resemble a small mountain. He left, and OF COURSE a puddle formed behind the washing machine … in the exact same spot as before.

On top of that, the 35 minute cycle washed down to the last minute … and STAYED ON A MINUTE, SPINNING AND SPINNING AND SPINNING INTO AN EBLIVION. It stayed that way for 15 minutes, and we recorded it for two minutes. Finally, I told Seth to shut it off.

So now, the only person in our family who has clean clothes is the oldest son. Everyone else has a pile large enough in their rooms that soon I will need to rent a forklift to move it from one room to another.

Here’s the thing, remember, I live in BFE and I know there are laundromats within 15 minutes of my house, but they scare me. Like, horror movie, serial killer, stalker scare me. I know how this works …

“A young mom went to the laundromat because her washing machine took a shit for two weeks and she needed clothes. While she was there, a man walked into the same facility, and began asking her for a quarter for the pay-phone outside. She didn’t have a quarter, because it’s 2015 and no one carries cash … although, she did have enough cash to wash six loads of laundry. She had no quarters to spare. The man became irate and started screaming and yelling at her while waving a knife. She tried to fight back, but the only moves she knew were from years of Jazzercise and none of those were coming in handy now – the uppercuts weren’t providing enough punch and the leg kicks weren’t effective either, but she tried. Soon, the man pulled a knife, slicing her throat. THE END.”

So no, I am not dragging my six loads of dirty clothes to the laundromat. Instead, I have a new plan … NAKED AND AFRAID: THE BFE SERIES.

(Feel free to all me Discovery … I am sure we could work out a deal – you bring me a new washing machine, I guarantee your Neilson ratings will soar with my family!)

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About Parenthood: The New Crazy Train

Parenthood is no easy task, and there is no reason to go at it alone. So, if you are feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, dump it off, grab a beverage and hop onboard Parenthood: The New Crazy Train -- where we are all permanent riders and new riders are welcomed daily. Follow me on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/ParenthoodthenewCrazyTrain Twitter @train_crazy *Photo credit Kristin Bauer*
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