Dining alone

I’m sorry, I’m NOT sorry.

I’m sorry that every once in a blue moon, I would like to eat my meals sans kids.

Which means, if my kids are not eating near us, I really don’t want to eat near other families with children either.

Eating dinner as a family of five can be an exhausting feat. But we do it, every single night.

So, excuse me, Ms. Host when I request to be seated “elsewhere” in the restaurant.

Yes, we have become “eating out snobs.”

Seth and I went to dinner in July when a hostess attempted to seat us in the middle of families with “cute” children. Despite the fact that I blew my ear drum earlier that day, I was still able to hear loud voices.

“Can we sit OVER THERE?” I whispered to the hostess who gave me THE look of “Screw you …”

But she obliged … because she had no choice.

We ate our dinner in peace and quiet. It was wonderful.

Clearly when Seth and I go out to dinner we give off the “MOM AND DAD” vibe because every single time, as of lately, that we try to eat dinner alone in a restaurant, every single hostess attempts to sit us smack dab in the middle of screaming, crying and otherwise, loud children.

Again, if I wanted to hear children scream, cry and be loud, I would have stayed home. My kids provide enough noise and distraction that I am thinking of renting them out to empty-nesters who miss that phase of life.

Anyways, the first day our kiddos went back to school (PRAISE THE LORD), Seth and I dined at Olive Garden.

The entire front portion of the restaurant was empty, except for a few tables here and there with adults – NO CHILDREN.

But again, since we seem to be emitting the “MOM AND DAD” vibe, the hostess tried to seat us smack dab in the middle of hell.

I wasn’t having it.

“Can we move over there …” and I pointed in a direction of what I thought was signaling far away from the screaming tots.

Nope, she put us three tables over from the screaming tots … still in eye sight and ear-shot.

The OTHER parents looked at me.

I didn’t care.

So, we moved ourselves.

“Sorry,” we told the woman who ended up taking care of us. “Our kids are in school … we don’t want to hear others.”

She completely understood.

I’m not sharing this on social media leading you all to believe that we have never taken our children to Olive Garden, or any place else. Sure, we have … and it was pure hell. One time we took the twins and Ethan … and noodles were thrown all over the floor to the point it looked like it rained pasta. BUT, it was NOT a good experience, and we waited to take them back until … well, I will let you know when we return.

It’s a toss-up as a parent because on one hand, you desperately want a time when you don’t have to slave in your kitchen only to be told to your face, “THIS IS GROSS!” You desperately just want someone else to wait on your needs.

Dear God, do I get it … we still take our kids out to dinner, only now we make sure every single electrical gadget is fully charged. My purse is also stuffed with notebooks and pens/crayons as a backup plan.

And, when all else fails, just order a glass of wine and toast yourself as you look at the empty nesters sitting at a booth in peace and quiet … one day, you too will dine alone.

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