Absurd requests from kids

“Can I have THIS NOW?” my 7-year-old screams as he shoves a sucker in my face.

It is 8 p.m. and he just ate a chocolate covered cookie.

In what world does he think that is a great ending to an already “Mom of the Year” snack?

In George’s World of course.

Ever since my children learned how to talk, at random times throughout the day they spew the craziest phrases my way.

“MOM, can I use your makeup?”

My daughter … she’s dreaming on a jet plane. I don’t spend a lot of money on jewelry or clothes, but when it comes to my makeup – hands off sister. That shit is expensive. It takes a lot of money to hide every single blemish I have on my face. A face that in August 2008 was going to cost me $100 for a mere squirt of highly medicated cream that would “maybe” decrease my awesome “Mask of Pregnancy.”

“Mom, can we fish NOW?”

The same 7-year-old boy requests me to take him fishing every hour of every day. Morning, noon and night. Hot or cold. Windy or calm. This kid may very well be on “Deadliest Catch” in 20 years. He could care less if the weather sucked or not. If he has a package of hotdogs and a fishing pole, he’s good to go for hours (or until he tangles his line).

“MOM, CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE ME TO THE VOLLEYBALL GAME?”

This is the worst because it comes in form of a text from my 12-year-old pre-teen who pretends to have an interest in volleyball, but really he has more of an interest in a certain girl on the team. Of course, these games take place right smack in the middle of “Hells Hour” – also known as homework time.

“What can I eat? I’M STARVING!”

This is a question that sends parents running for the hills, mostly because it comes a mere 15 minutes after we just fed them a “real meal” and the kitchen is clean.

My kids are always hungry. They are bottomless pits. I am starting to wonder if they have a tape worm … and if they do, could they share it with me because I think that is the way I am going to lose weight.

Till next time readers … enjoy your journey on your crazy train.

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4 thoughts on “Absurd requests from kids

  1. Pingback: Absurd requests from kids | Parenthood: The New Crazy Train

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