I’ve been a mom for 13 years now, and most days, I still don’t have my shit together.
It’s a damn miracle three kids manage to get out the door and on the bus to school most mornings. Between the fighting, bickering, eating, teeth-brushing, hair-combing and making lunches they won’t eat, I deserve a Gold Medal.
Hell, all moms do. (Dads too – because one year when my own mom worked in the summer, my dad, a teacher, was off. He had to brush my hair every day. One time, he had to put my hair in pig-tails for those lovely 1980s photo sessions. One pony is higher than another. But he rocked picking out my jean bibs and sunglasses!)
Today, I managed to brush and braid a section of KK’s hair while she turned her head like the little girl on the movie, “The Exorcist.” Only, at least KK doesn’t have the ability to turn her head in a 360 degree motion. And she didn’t do the projectile vomit either. Winner-winner, chicken dinner.
As moms, or parents, we often put our children’s needs above all else. And we look worse for the wear for it. At least I do. I sweat, I curse … hell, I almost damn near cry when I am trying to brush hair or get them out of the shower. I don’t know how I survived newbornhood and toddlerhood.
When did I eat? When did I shower? When did I pee? When did I clean? When did I sleep? How did the house not fall apart at the seams when I felt my life was doing just that every single day?
My cousin in Texas, she had her fourth child in December. She has mastered the art of nursing a baby while making a one-handed peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich.
So, today, I am going to open the floor to my readers.
What do YOU do that you never thought you would as a parent?
Use the hashtag #likeaboss when responding – because damnit, we are all bosses!
About the author:
Melissa Linebrink is a reporter/bi-monthly columnist for “The Mommy Wars” printed in The Chronicle-Telegram. She has been featured as a blogger on the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Conference site, www.humorwriters.org and Great Moments in Parenting. She also writes, edits and manages her blog, https://parenthoodthenewcrazytrain.com/. She can be reached at email@example.com or follow her on Twitter @train_crazy.