A note to Mother Nature and Old Man Winter

Dear Mother Nature and Old Man Winter,

I’m not sure what the hell is going on with the two of your, but you need to get your act together.

My children’s brains are slowly turning to mush because they have not used their brains since honestly Dec. 21. The three-day jaunt back to school last week doesn’t count. That was a tease.

They have not used a pencil in just as long. I’m not sure they even know how to recite the alphabet or count to 100 anymore.

And let’s not even talk about the amount of TP that has been used!! Seriously … I should have bought stock in all-things paper-made 30 years ago!

The days of them being home are long. I am beyond tired.

They roll out of bed at 9 a.m. Demand breakfast and then an hour later, they want a mid-morning snack.

On occasion, they have played PlayDoh and Monopoly, but for the most part, they wander around the 2,400-square-foot house whining about being bored.

Today, I told George if he didn’t play with his toys from Santa, I was gonna toss them in the trash.

I walked over to the stack of toys … he followed and grabbed one. That kept him busy for maybe 15 minutes.

By noon, they are demanding lunch. And then, naturally, an hour later, they want a mid-afternoon snack.

And just as 4 p.m. rolls around, they declare it’s another snack time.

I actually went to the store last week and hide $20 worth of food in my bedroom closet. I need to have SOME food to pack for school lunches … IF they ever go back.

Today, my daughter whined when I told her a Red Baron pizza was dinner.

“Aw, I want a home-made meal,” she whined.

“We had steak yesterday. You missed it,” I told her. (She was at friend’s house.)

“Aw, all I want is a home-made meal mom,” she said again.

“Well, I want you guys to GO TO SCHOOL. WE CAN’T HAVE IT ALL,” was my reply.

She is now searching the pantry for a pre-dinner snack.

So, Mother Nature and Old Man Winter, for the love of God … and for the sanity of all parents who are affected by your harsh weather that you are bestowing on much of the United States … please, get your shit together … before I lose mine.

Sincerely,

Mom of Three Living in BFE

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