Family trip leaves mom feeling itchy

ITCHY WOMAN

For a week, 10 children and six adults ventured to Norris Lake, Tenn.

There, minus WiFi, we swam in the clear lake, floated on the pontoon Little Big Town-style and otherwise, enjoyed (nearly) every minute of our vacation.

And it seems as if the vacation isn’t ready to be over just yet.

One family came back covered in bug bites, but no one remembers being bitten or swatting away at mosquitoes. The only bugs we saw were tick-look-a-likes that would fly and land on the pontoon seating areas. At first, we freaked out by the mere sight of them but eventually we learned they were just a Tennessee bug.

Another dad got bite by a horse-fly the size of a horse and it actually left two bite marks on his arm and caused him to bleed. According to his wife, he has not turned into a horse fly and has otherwise recovered from his bug injury.

And then there’s me.

I have no idea what is going on with me, but even the medical world doesn’t seem to have an honest clue to the mystery rash spreading over my body.

Naturally, according to WebMD, I am dying … but I also think I may either have swimmers’ itch, hay fever rash or heat rash. Those are the three diagnoses I have come up with based on my symptoms and the appearance of the rash on my skin.

However, the nurse practitioner simply told me I have “contact dermatitis.” In other words, she isn’t sure what I have, but knowing it isn’t contagious and seeing how I am the only one who came back with it, she’s certain I just came into contact with something funky on my trip.

My overactive brain is telling me otherwise.

Since being prescribed Prednisone, some of the spots have vanished, but new ones have appeared. The only thing the medication has done is provide me with endless energy and insomnia at night. Those two do not mix well.

I am giving this rash about five more days to clear up before I contact the producers of “Monsters Inside Me” because I am fairly certain there is a parasite shacking up under my skin.

 

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